


Flawed

by pinkheichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Levi is hurting, Levi wants to sacrifice his love to make Armin happy, Levi with scars, Light Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 11:09:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20723231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkheichou/pseuds/pinkheichou
Summary: Sometimes it needs a rational brain like that of Armin's to shoo away Levi's irrational thoughts.





	Flawed

"I hate this."  
  
"I don't mind it. It's fine for me. Really."  
  
"No."  
  
Levi reviewed Armin with contained fury in his eyes. He had struggles not to burst with the blond being a witness. The self-hatred, which Levi had to tame, was nothing Armin deserved to suffer from.  
  
Today marked two months ever since Zeke's suicide attack. Two months ever since the scars had found a glaring residence on Levi's face.   
  
It was one thing that Levi was reminded of that fatal day, that had marred his existence, whenever he looked in the mirror after waking up. But it was another thing that Armin was confronted with that sight as well—coming to face with Levi's scarred face and his bumpy knuckles. And that was pretty much why Levi couldn't cease thinking about Armin's persistence. He didn't want Armin to stay by his side out of pity, guilt, or sense of duty.  
  
Levi wasn't to bear a relationship with Armin. _Not anymore._ The time had come where Levi would spend the rest of his life alone—just as he had always planned to do before he got into this relationship. The certainty was swelling within Levi's chest that there wouldn't be any good outcome if he, as a cripple, stayed with a young person that was full of dreams and hopes and pursues in life. It was better not to spend more time with someone he wanted to please but couldn't do so satisfactorily.

Levi had ushered Armin into his office prior to tell him exactly that and to end everything here—once and for all.  
  
But, as Levi had foreshadowed with a gloomy headache, they hadn't come that far with their talk. Armin had interrupted him in a matter of half a minute. The dedicated loyalty sprinkling in Armin's eyes were looking into Levi's narrowed and tired and partly deformed eyes with such an eager keenness that Levi couldn't do else than halt his speech he had meticulously prepared so that Armin had less to no room to object.  
  
But Armin wouldn't be Armin if he gave up without making his point.  
  
Armin wouldn't be Armin if he didn't try sorting out disagreements.  
  
After his initial assertion of not accepting Levi's planned break-up, his face softened, the big blue in his eyes quivering like water.  
  
"You're saying these things that easily," he began to break the cramped silence with, "but what about the thing we promised to each other? The promise that we would spend the rest of our lives—"  
  
"It's over with that."  
  
"—together."  
  
"No!" In the end, Levi's hostility won over him.  
  
Armin was watching him with tender disappointment. He wanted to say something, his mouth opening determinedly, but the words seemed to be stuck somewhere in its way outside the throat. Armin closed his mouth, his lips pursing and indecisive.  
  
Levi became irritated of Armin's mute persistence. He rose a flat hand and pushed his own lover – or where they already ex-lovers? – back and out of his office that had his door open and the conversations inside of it in display for every passing party to hear. No one had passed Levi's office so far, though.   
  
"Go away!" With a final push, Levi had Armin shoved to the hallway. That last impact had caused Armin to stumble lightly and lean against the wall clumsily, barely on steady feet. Levi would have cared about this more, if he hadn't been so damn vexed and pathetic right now. "Go find someone your age next time!"  
  
Levi's way of saying goodbye to Armin (and their relationship) consisted of shutting the door loudly.  
  
Leaning against the door, huffing puffs of breaths, Levi's body temperature bubbled up.  
  
In the heat of the moment he had exclaimed something he would never actually direct at Armin. It had come from his fuelled anger meant for only himself.  
  
***  
  
Levi sought the rooftop of the headquarters on the same day.   
  
The sun had already set, and the trillions of stars speckled the midnight blue sky. They sparkled, lowly and then brighter, as though they were mocking Levi for his ridiculous self.  
  
But Levi was aware of his stupid behaviour. He didn't need the stars to tell him that.  
  
There was no way to recover this, was there?  
  
No, there wasn't. Because Levi had made his decision. And he wouldn't take it ba—  
  
"I made everything clear that needed to be said." Levi uttered scornfully.  
  
He had made out a sound of light feet tapping forward behind him and he sensed immediately that it could be only one person trying to reach out to him and at the same time knowing about his hideaway.  
  
No answer left Armin's lips. Instead, he proceeded forward until he found himself right behind Levi who was sat on the edge of the rooftop, a leg angled, an arm resting on his knee.  
  
He crouched down, suavely draping his arms around Levi's shoulders.   
  
Levi grunted softly under his breath, inclined to squirm with the embrace. However, an ounce of him secretely favoured these kind of touches. That part of him didn't want to give up everything he had with Armin.  
  
But there was no other choice!  
  
"Do you remember when you cut my hair?" Armin eventually commenced, his smooth voice tickling its way into Levi's ear. His lips were a layer of air away to brush Levi's skin.  
  
A goosebump rolled over Levi's skin for a moment.  
  
"You said that, no matter how I looked, it wouldn't change your feelings for me."  
  
Levi hated this. His jaw imitated stone and he growled through gritted teeth, "Hair and permanent ugly scars are not the same!"  
  
"But both are outward appearances." Armin's mellow, plump lips edged closer; the words whistling through were tinting the air around them with velvety sentiments. "Scars happen. You and I, we are soldiers. Scars tell us that we survived. They tell us that we are _alive_."  
  
Levi squirmed forward and Armin pressed him against his chest, his arms a cage around Levi.   
  
A cage to secure Levi from going into a spiral of low self-esteem.  
  
"Do you really think I wouldn't love you anymore because you survived and are carrying signs of your survival?" Levi was fine with his scars, actually. But he wasn't fine with Armin having to see them every time that they are together.   
  
He didn't want to do that to him.  
  
_Armin deserved better._  
  
And Levi wasn't good enough. Not pretty enough.  
  
He breathed in deeply, releasing a discontent sigh. "You are young. You can still start a new page in your life with someone less ruined and branded than me. You don't have to stay with me. I'm old and dull. One day you might want to pursue that other life."  
  
"I—"  
  
"And I don't want to let it come that far. It's better we part now rather than having you stay with me only for the day to come where you stay with me solely because you feel pity—when you actually want to live differently."  
  
Silence fell upon them. Levi couldn't tell whether he had overwhelmed Armin with things that would turn out, in the end, true or if Armin was busy laughing at Levi in his mind.  
  
Armin huffed a tiny giggle. "You're such a fool." he said pitifully. A nerve inside Levi snapped at that. "First of all, that day will never come. If there is one thing I can tell for sure then it's this; that I would never leave you because of your looks. After all, you are together with a Titan shifter. That's far more _crazy_."   
  
Armin released a proper laughter now which made Levi feel more conflicted than he already was. He didn't want his firm mood to waver. "Stop it."  
  
"Second of all, I don't want anyone else. I don't want to meet someone else and fall in love with them. I want someone who is mature and tough and loyal and exceptional and clean and bold and not ashamed of living with scars."  
  
There was no other person than Levi whose personality fit to that description. Of course Armin chose to word it this way to make it clear to Levi that he wanted _only him_.

"And, lastly, someone who is shorter than me."  
  
"_I hate you_." Levi nudged Armin's ribs with his elbow as Armin started to laugh. He fell from his crouching position; backwards as his butt met the roof tiles. "Adulthood made you a too sassy person."  
  
Levi huffed angrily as he had to listen to Armin's cackle slowly waning.   
  
When it had mostly died down, Armin assured him, "I'm sorry."  
  
"No."  
  
"Really."  
  
"Tell that to your dick."  
  
Armin almost burst out again. Levi's snappy remarks were fascinatingly special.  
  
Armin sat next to Levi. A hand of his hovered under Levi's chin, nimble fingers turning Levi's face to him. Armin smiled preciously. Very much in love and earnest.  
  
He kissed Levi's lips—tentatively. Moving his own lips more as he went with the kiss.   
  
Levi let it happen.   
  
He was grateful that Armin wasn't fondling his scars.  
  
Letting go after half a minute, Armin pledged with hooded eyes, "No one else than you. You and only you. You are the person I want. The one I want to keep being together with."  
  
Levi had his jaw tight. His scars itched, as though reminding him why he had initially chosen the path of break-up.   
  
Levi ignored that scraping.  
  
He took Armin's face between his hands and pressed his lips onto Armin's.  
  
Their kiss was more fervent now. Levi took the lead, placing all of his complicated feelings into that kiss.  
  
Whether he felt like having to or not, he didn't want to give up on Armin. Working on denying that fact wouldn't bring him anywhere.  
  
Moreover, he couldn't simply push Armin away from him when the other was saying and meaning all those things.   
  
Armin didn't want anyone else.  
  
And Levi wanted to live on with Armin.  
  
Levi's hands had guided Armin's to his facial scars. Levi couldn't quite explain why he'd done that. A minute before he had loathed that idea and now he needed those touches. _Armin's approval._  
  
Armin stroked the marred areas with infinite fondness.  
  
When they parted their lips, Armin couldn't keep his gaze on Levi for long. He snuggled his head onto Levi's chest. Levi warped an arm around his back.   
  
"It was a long time ago ever since I last stargazed."  
  
Levi's reply was quick. "Then stay here with me and we can look at the stars together."  
  
They did so, as lovers who had become a stronger bond than before; ready to overcome every future obstacle.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I used the headcanon that Levi cut Armin's hair (because Armin now has an undercut too in the manga) AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF LEVI HAVING GIVEN HIM THAT HAIRSTYLE DON'T SUE ME--
> 
> Feedback is appreciated <3
> 
> You can find me on tumblr under the username [pinkheichou](http://www.pinkheichou.tumblr.com)


End file.
